Brimstone Pizza at Hell's Pizza - Hellishly Disappointing


It's a lazy weekend lunchtime and we are feeling peckish, with a particular hankering for pizza. Unfortunately Pizza Pomodoro does not deliver at lunchtime (someone should start a petition), Sal's is a bit expensive and Pizza Hut and Dominoes are terrible unless you're absolutely inebriated. For a price to quality ratio we choose Hell's. Boy were we wrong.

I order the Brimstone (Cajun chicken and avocado) with a thin stretched base, totalling $13 dollars (the thin base is $2 extra). Feeling daring, I order "Hot as Hell" and do some customising for free, adding jalapenos and garlic (which is slightly burnt on arrival).  It is delivered nearly 20 minutes late as the driver took a wrong turn and consequently the pizza is not as hot or as fresh as usual. The driver forgets the chicken wings. We call and are told that he will turn around and come back with them. It takes about 20 minutes, by which time we have stuffed ourselves and have no gastric real estate available. They were terrible anyway. Some of the worst wings I've ever eaten, and I grew up poor in America. Bland, gloopy and gelatinous. Some poor bird died to make those. Rest in Peace.

The pizza is lukewarm and by the time I finish it it is cold. Unlike the classic Mahgerita, Brimstone does not taste good cold. Because it contains avocado I can't even reheat it. On a positive note, their "Hot as Hell" actually lives up to the name, especially with the addition of jalapenos. I wanted jalapeno poppers as a side but they were sold out already. Must be popper-ular. Between the lack of seasoning and the acridity of the burnt garlic, I think I would have been better off getting a Mr Wedge. Hell's quality has really gone down since my student days, which is not surprising as the have many branches, including one in India. Indian Hells must have a lot of vegetarian options (Indian Subway has over 20 vegetarian options alone) and their "Hot as Hell" must be killer.

Overall it was a disappointing experience and I am in no hurry to order from them again unless I am very, very drunk or very, very hungover.

Food: 3/10
Service: 1/10
Ambiance: 10/10 at home, 3/10 instore
Cost: $13

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